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Famous Quotes – Carl Sagan

Administrator — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:55:26 +0000

Famous Quotes – Carl Sagan

If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

- Carl Sagan

Insulting Quotes – Funny Insults

Administrator — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 00:52:36 +0000

Insulting Quotes – Funny Insults

He has delusions of adequacy.
–Unknown

I’m sorry, you seem to have mistaken me for someone who cares.
–Unknown

Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.
–Unknown

To praise princes for virtues they are lacking in is a way of insulting them with impunity
–Fran�ois de la Rochefoucauld

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
–Unknown

You must not, when you have gained a victory, use any triumphing or insulting expression, nor show too much pleasure ; but endeavor to console your adversary, and make him less dissatisfied with himself by every kind and civil expression, that may be
–Benjamin Franklin

I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
–Unknown

It would be hypocritical of me to ask. It would suggest I care.
–Unknown

When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh my God, you’re insulting me.’
–Janeane Garofalo

Funny Insults

VALENTINE’S DAY JOKES VALENTINES Jokes VALENTINES DAY JOKES

Administrator — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 20:52:23 +0000

Valentine’s Day Quotes

Valentine�s Day Quotes Valentine�s Day Sayings

Valentine’s Day Quotes

Famous Quotes

VALENTINE’S DAY JOKES

Funny Quotes

VALENTINES Jokes VALENTINES DAY JOKES

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VALENTINES Jokes VALENTINES DAY JOKES�

VALENTINES DAY

What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?
A card that says, “I love you drool-ly!”

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
“I love you with all my art!”

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
“I’ve got a crutch on you!”

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
I t was a case of guppy love.

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
“Be my valenstein!”

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine’s Day? ”
I find you very attractive.”

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because kidneys would look pretty gross!

What did one light bulb say to the other?
“I love you a whole watt!”

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses!

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did the bat say to his Valentine?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”

What did one pickle say to the other?
“Valentine, you mean a great dill to me!”

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!

What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
“I love you a ton!”

What would you get it you crossed a blonde with the God of love?
A stupid cupid!

Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
She didn’t suit his taste!

Funny Quotes

Administrator — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 00:14:35 +0000

Funny Quotes

Quotes – Famous Quotes – Funny Quotes – Joan Rivers Quotes
But seriously, and I’m not making a joke: was the ending happy or sad?” (To actor Tim Robbins, RE: his film “Mystic River”, which is known for its extremely tragic ending.)
- Joan Rivers

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Funny Quotes

Cat Quotes

Administrator — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 22:42:19 +0000

No one can have experienced to the fullest the true sense of achievement

and satisfaction who have never pursued and successfully caught his tail.

- Rosalind Welcher

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Work – other people’s work – is an intolerable idea to a cat.

Can you picture cats herding sheep or agreeing to pull a cart?

They will not inconvenience themselves to the slightest degree.

- Dr. Louis J. Camuti

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A cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin.

- Fred Schwab

Famous Quotes – Quality Quotes

Administrator — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 00:10:13 +0000

Famous Quotes – Quality Quotes

There is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.
–Theodore Roosevelt

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.
–George Washington

The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.
–Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

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