02.04.06

P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

Posted in Famous People Quotes, Famous Quotes, P. J. O'Rourke Quotes, Quotes Central at 4:51 pm by Administrator

P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
- P. J. O’Rourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
- P. J. O’Rourke

You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Its easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America’s favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it.
- P. J. O’Rourke

One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license.
- P. J. O’Rourke

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
- P. J. O’Rourke

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P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

Posted in Famous People Quotes, Famous Quotes, P. J. O'Rourke Quotes, Quotes Central at 3:54 pm by Administrator

P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Weird clothes are helpful to teens, making it easier for them to fend off sexual advances from older people. Certain types of older persons, with more aesthetics than good sense, are drawn to the beauty and vitality of teenagers. But on closer inspection, the older person will see that the teenagers have nose rings, tattoos, and are covered in vegetable dye, feathers, denim things, and that it isn’t easy to tell if they are girls or what, and he will leave them alone.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Fame is a communicable disease. If you get screwed by someone who’s got it, you may catch it yourself.
- P. J. O’Rourke

One difficult problem of divorce is knowing what to call an ex-mother-in-law, a former uncle by marriage, and other relatives of a discarded spouse. Most people call them ‘dirt.’
- P. J. O’Rourke

No matter how liberated she is, every woman still wants a husband. No one knows why, but it’s true. Modern Manners demands then that whenever you visit a single woman, you should put your feet up on her furniture, smoke stinky cigars, and refuse to take the garbage out. Identify with the role and try to be a husband at all times. Ask every single woman you know, ‘When’s dinner?’ or ‘Why you putting on so much weight.
- P. J. O’Rourke

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P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

Posted in Famous People Quotes, Famous Quotes, P. J. O'Rourke Quotes, Quotes Central at 1:49 pm by Administrator

P. J. O’Rourke Quotes

Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
- P. J. O’Rourke

Living wills should be very specific about the definition of ‘brain dead’ and not so carelessly worded that they can be enacted by greedy heirs if you foot goes to sleep.
- P. J. O’Rourke

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with green hair and three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
- P. J. O’Rourke

A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.
- P. J. O’Rourke

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