Henny Youngman Quotes
Henny Youngman Quotes
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- Henny Youngman
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
- Henny Youngman
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
- Henny Youngman
A man calls a lawyer’s office.
The phone is answered, “Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz.”
The man says, “Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”
“I’m sorry, he’s on vacation.”
“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”
“He’s on a big case, not available for a week.”
“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”
“He’s playing golf today.”
“Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”
“Speaking.”
- Henny Youngman
She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
- Henny Youngman
